by Noel Bouché
There’s a lie that has been used to deceive human hearts from time immemorial, and while it has many variations, its essence is this: “You don’t matter.” The purpose of the lie is to steal, kill, and destroy, and one of its chief effects is to create a belief in an individual that their words and actions don’t matter, don’t have influence, don’t have effect. We begin to feel powerless…even in our own homes.
When this lie has gotten hold of my mind in the past, I’ve seen two different patterns emerge in my behavior: first, a depressed, disengaged apathy that refrains from speaking and acting because “nothing I say or do matters”; second, a self-indulgent rationalization that because “nothing I say or do matters,” I can do whatever I want.
It’s the ultimate cycle of a shame-based attitude (“I am unworthy and powerless”) driving narcissistic-like behavior (“Others don’t matter”). This cycle exists on a spectrum, from a low-level, almost imperceivable toxicity that hinders growth and subtly disrupts relationships, all the way to obviously destructive abuse and addiction.
The antidote to this lie is, of course, is truth: You matter. We matter. And we matter to each other. We know this because we matter to our Creator, who leaves the ninety-nine to go after the one (Luke 15:4-5). This truth transforms us, and begins to give us a responsive “heart of flesh” where there was an unfeeling “heart of stone” (Ezekiel 11:19).
And a new heart never stops just at the individual. It has impact on everyone around them, because our hearts overflow in our words (Matthew 12:34), our actions (Luke 6:45), and our worship (Psalm 45:1).
At pureHOPE, we’ve seen the impact of transformed hearts on households around the world.
It’s the father whose heart was freed from fear after a pureHOPE conference and started courageous conversations with his young son about God’s story of sex, which transformed their relationship and unleashed emotional intimacy that had previously been blocked.
It’s the wife who through our podcast is experiencing new freedom from past sexual brokenness and whose family is now being transformed by her liberty and wholeness.
It’s the pastor who, after a pureHOPE equipping session, realized his discipling in this digital, sexualized environment needed to start in hearth and home before a house of worship.
Because as we believe, as our hope in this Jesus increases and purifies our heart more and more, living water flows, and it will overflow and water the soil of other hearts around us.
If we’re patient, we might even get the privilege of seeing the fruit (James 5:7).
How have you seen the transformation of your own heart impact your home and those around you? Have you been impacted by the heart transformation of someone else?